How Would You Talk to Someone About Addiction?
Question by Pork Chops: How would you talk to someone about addiction?
So I have a really close friend that is addicted to pain pills. I kind of suspected this a long time ago and then he finally told me that he had this problem. This issue especially hit home with me because I have some family members that are addicts to pain pills and after we have tried all kinds of treatments and anything we could there still seems to be no saving grace. In short my family has cut them off because you can only help so much. Anyway, I did the same thing with my friend, treatments, Seboxon, NA, whatever else anyone could do. So my friend to me that he had quit but because I have experience with this he didn’t exhibit any signs of detox or anything, in fact he is still the same. I thought well maybe has their own way of dealing with this so it could be normal even though my Intuition tells me differently. Recently another close friend of mine told me that he was with him recently to “pick-up” and seen him pop pills. I believe in second chances and I’m only here to help but I don’t like being lied to which I know unfortunately is just a symptom of this disease. I to the point where I need him to tell me the truth and seek help and get clean or my friendship can no longer exist. My question is how do I talk to him about this without having that ultimatum of either getting sober or losing my friendship altogether. He knows that I do not accept this behavior and he won’t even tell me the truth. I’m not sure what to do. HELP!
Best answer:
Answer by aleea
As you are well aware addiction is a terrible disease that is chronic in nature. Addicts will spend the rest of their lives in periods of sobriety (if actively working towards recovery) and unfortunately relapse. To make matters worse, the statistics are grim in that about 15% of those who suffer actually achieve prolonged periods of sobriety. In all honesty your friend has a serious struggle ahead of them if and when they decide to work towards recovery. There are various stages of change that most addicts cycle through when faced with the need to change an aspect of their life for the better. Pre-contemplation: where they are ambivalent to their problem. Contemplation: where they are first starting to see the problem for what it is and beginning to think of potentially changing. Preparation: where they are starting to prepare a game plan for change with even some trials at quitting. Action: where the change has occurred and they begin to find alternative ways to replace their habit in healthy ways. Finally maintenance: where the change has now become sustained. Often people will cycle through these stages, typically between two at a time. The purpose of a loving support system, is to offer a safe environment free of judgment and full of compassion and acceptance. The purpose of the professional help is to help rid the addict of ambivalence towards their disease and help build up internal desire/willingness to change and confidence in their ability to successful achieve change while in the early stages of change. Followed by helping the addict develop a realistic workable plan of action and encouragement throughout the later stages of change. This unfortunately is a long process that requires patients and unconditional love on the part of the support system when actively engaged. It’s your choice. Ultimatums can help addicts reach their “bottom” sooner which can help with dissipating ambivalence. However this also typically means periods of separation until THEY are ready to work on their disease. Addicts will often lie, cheat, steal to get their drug of choice and staying around may subject you to the impact of such acts. It is your choice what role you want to play and letting a loved one know you are there for them and will be until they are ready to make movement toward recovery is often the most loving thing you can do, and whether you stick around or distance yourself throughout their process of acknowledgment of the depth of their problem, acceptance and action.
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