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How Do You Keep Up Sobriety Without Going to AA?
I have been sober six months now and currently live at a supported independent living center, a sober house. I am not dual diagnosed, they opened it up to people with just mental issues, but I do have a history of using alcohol at times to self medicate when I wasn’t on the right medications. I do get triggers at times to drink, when I smell alcohol at a restaurant. It’s only a slight feeling, a feeling like, ‘oh that was nice, it used to relax me,’ if that makes sense. I am committed to staying sober for life, but I have mixed issues about going to 12-step groups. Some people say they are necessary for sobriety, that since it is a disease it is impossible to stay sober without treatment in committing to a higher power. I believe however that there is choice involved with it, and don’t believe that I am totally helpless to a trigger or a craving, that they can be overcome with the right coping tools. I don’t hang out with people who abuse alcohol anymore and who have depression, I keep my boundaries clear. Honestly while there were times where I abused alcohol, I mostly did it to ‘fit in’ instead of my own cravings. When I did attend AA I didn’t relate to anyone there, and literally felt like I was lying when I said that I was an alcoholic…when they asked if I obsessed about it or had cravings for it I didn’t, and when they shared stories about going to rehabs and running away from them, and drinking bottles to themselves, I thought woah… I can’t relate. Even though I know it’s not always about how much you drink it’s the consequences, but I feel that it is different.
Anyway I’m just influenced by other people’s opinions, my therapist thinks that I am not dual diagnosed and don’t need AA–but the case manager here thinks I could benefit from it. I however feel like I would benefit more from Al-Anon because I have been more of an ‘enabler’ in my past, instead of the one abusing it more I’ve tried to save people and been co-dependent on people who were abusing it.
To sum up my drinking history, I used to drink a glass or two of wine a night, almost every night in order to help me sleep (while I was depressed at my last job). I thought it calmed me down but I think it interefereed with my medication. I quit it cold turkey when I started to feel really depressed and had an episode.. then when I told a dual recovery counselor about it they basically diagnosed me as an alcoholic. When I had my manic episodes the most I drank, usually, was about 4 drinks a night.. so if you look at it by how much I drink it wasn’t considered to be all that much, but still, I just don’t want to pick up a drink ever again and worry when I hear that I could be an addict that I might just do that. I don’t think I’d ever drink myself into oblivion, though.
I just think that I wasn’t on the right medications and that’s why I was self-medicating, but I wanted to know if this seems like I should give AA another shot.
Ah I meant to post this to the mental health section, but when I clicked edit it went back to Law and Ethics and I didn’t see that. Anyway maybe someone here can answer it hehe thanks.
Um to the nobody special person, I said that I live at a supported independent living center that became open to people with mental issues as well, not just alcoholism!
I have schizoaffective disorder and came to live at a place to get mentally stable on my medication so that I don’t have a break and need to go to the hospital again. I pay for it and don’t plan on staying long, but that is really none of your business.
I was also asked how much I drank and it wasn’t a ‘plea for attention.’ You are really condescending and I am not surprised I got such an answer in the ‘law and ethics’ section really. Yuck.
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Anyone can talk to an AA counselor, and if they drink as part of a routine, they will tell you that you have a problem, be it true or not.
Having a drink or two after work is not a bad thing, and it does not mean you are “not on the right medication”. Nor does it make you an addict.
Now if you wake up and go for the bottle, you might have an issue. If you are at work and cant help but go for the bottle, you probably have an issue. If it has simply become part of your after work routine, and you are not drinking yourself into a stupor (2 glasses of wine does not really make you a drunk), you are probably just fine.
Going and talking to a “professional” about having a glass or two of wine after work sounds to me like much more of a plea for attention than a serious alcoholic problem. Deciding to live at a “supported independent living center” (kind of a contradiction in terms) because you used to have a glass of wine after work is outright pathetic, especially if you were able to curb your habit “cold turkey” as you say. I am sure that many people actually need the help such a center offers, but based on your description of your routines, I think you are simply wasting space at such a place, maybe from some desire to attempt to relate to someone, anyone.
I truly hope that the “center” you currently reside in is not funded by my tax dollars, as those dollars allocated to such programs are intended for those who truly need help, not people who just want attention.
People can and do stay sober without AA. It’s a basic choice – choose not to drink. And if you mess up and take a sip, it’s as easy as choosing not to take another sip.
Many counselors view anyone who takes a drink as an alcoholic or an alcoholic to be. The fact of the matter is that most people who drink, do it for what what is considered the wrong reasons. We drink to help us fall asleep (wrong reason) or to relax (wrong reason) or to give us something to do with our hands at a party (wrong reason). When pressed though, they can’t seem to come up with a right reason to use alcohol. If you feel you were using it badly, then you are wise to stop.
Many people with mental illness self medicate. You know all about that. You need to avoid that at all costs. It will cause problems with alcohol.
Finally, alcohol and most medications don’t do well together. It sounds like you have a workable med plan right now and you are doing well. Why mess with that?
Choose your health over anything else, and choose not to drink. If you find yourself rationalizing over taking a drink – go check out AA again.