How Can I Deal With My Mom Who Likes Me to Feel Guilty?
Question by : How can I deal with my mom who likes me to feel guilty?
I have a very controlling mother who loves to make me feel guilty. I am gay and have been dating the same women for the last 5 years. She was very angry about it at first and said i had ruined my life but after a year or so she seemed to come around however not after writing me threatening notes and leaving them at my work. So things went on OK for a few years until just recently I moved to Vancouver with my fiance for a change of pace. Now my mother, coming from a small Alberta town, said it was cool and she was happy for me…until yesterday when she sent me a text saying how i was ruining my life, and that I didn’t love her by being in this life style, how i was never going to go anywhere, and i was a big disappointment. Then she called me and started crying and even after i tired to explain that i still loved her and that this was my life and I’m 23, she got mad and hung up and said i will never understand how unhappy she i,s and she wont be happy until i break up with my fiance, and move home and my life is wrong and that this would make it right. Now I just feel guilty and don’t know what to do. I love my fiance and I am not going to leave her to make my mother happy but how do I deal with the guilt she makes me feel?
Best answer:
Answer by ?Krissy?
1. just really ingore her.don’t care what she thinks
Answer by Kitten1789
You should never feel guilty about who you are.
Is your mother living alone? Were you the last or only child? She may just be acting dramatically because she’s lonely or bored. You also have to understand depending on the age of your mother that she might have been raised with “being gay is a sin” drilled in her head.
Just reassure your mother when she calls and starts trying to make you feel guilty again that you love her and you’re going to live how you choose. You’re an adult now and can make your own choices, you don’t need her to make decisions for you any longer. Don’t sacrifice your happiness in life for someone else.
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